I am having a large mirror fitted to the study wall, so that Arianrhod can practice her haka moves ahead of the Berkshire Under-Fives Rugby Union trials. I can also keep an eye on No Good Boyo's attempts to open pickle jars in the kitchen.
The various morlocks hired to fit it managed to remove the mounted wolf head with Szekler arms akimbo that my grandfather Boykopolk bequeathed to us - the result of one of his least successful crossbreeding experiments.
They failed, however, to bring the boar-tusk brackets I had specified. So the mirror is resting on a pile of Boyo's parking tickets for now.
Boyo thinks the mirror is a bauble of my vanity. Three years together, and he still hasn't noticed that I cast no reflection.
12 comments:
Chilling.
And I thought it was just the shadow that went astray.
Was that my mate Tony what did the installing? If so, check it isn't one-way with a webcam behind it...
Gyppo, "Toney" Tony, as I believe you call him, is easily distracted by the pile of bricks and pot of hair oil Boyo leaves at the end of our garden each night for that very purpose.
I choose all the workmen for our house interior from the adverts in "Better Homes Than Yours" magazine.
I don't think Tony advertises at all, although his sister offered language classes and back pain relief on a card in the newsagent's window until recently.
I think the wolf head with Szekler arms akimbo might go down a storm with the tourists here, Mrs Boyo. Up to now we've been showing them round the Elena Ceauşescu Municipal Potato and Plastic Flower Museum, but I've heard a few discontented mutterings.
Also, at a quarter of the cost, we can replace every "Toney" Tony with a "Bodgey" Bogdan, and you'll get no backchat, or indeed comprehensable conversation of any kind.
Three years together, and he still hasn't noticed that I cast no reflection.
Do you have a sister?
Gadjo, I would have thought that the burgers of Cluj had tired of canine hybrids, having rid themselves so recently of Mayor Funar.
Ordovicius: by a resolution of the Supreme Soviet all three of my parents were prohibited from launching any further daughters. A violation of the SALT treaty was involved, I gather. I do however have two half-brothers, and they have expressed an anxious desire to meet you.
Dear Mrs Boyo, I believe I can see Miss Hazel Court in the accompanying photograph (glamorous film actress, all-round good egg). Eerily, I have just reported the sad news of her demise. Cordially etc, Mrs Pouncer
Mrs Pouncer, welcome. I believe this is what Jung, Boyo and similar mystics call synchronicity. A shame Miss Court is no longer with us, as I would have liked some hairdressing tips.
Best wishes,
Mrs B
Ah, you too have heard of mad-dog Funar, the monomaniac xenophobic former mayor of Cluj. But I'm happy to say that in the recent elections here he got a meagre 0.0000001% of the vote.
Gadjo bor - Mrs Boyo has heard of everybody. She's as close to omniscient as one can encounter without freaking out completely. You 'as been warned.
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